Tourist2

By St. Sweeper

With NYC & Company reporting their stats of tourists visiting the city in the millions, it's more or less a painful reminder of how much more crowded the streets are when trying to get to the office in the morning or grab a quick bite during lunch.  How, instead of walking your straight, slightly weaving path through everyday pedestrians, you're now walking, than slowing, than stutter stepping, than coming to a complete halt because the asshole

 in front of you doesn't realize there's an unspoken flow of traffic to be followed. Instead, he just sees an opportunity to capture that one special photograph, right then and there. Further driving your impatience level to new heights.

We get it, really, they suck!  No matter what time of year, they're always here and we quietly learn to tolerate them in our own right.  Maybe it's the sticky heat of the NY summer that makes us realize their presence more at this time of year but we also know we can't blame them.  They are coming from distances far and wide to take-in the finest city in the world and maybe just maybe get that NYC thrill they were looking for.  Plus, they do drive our economy and keep the paper flow more than abundant. 

So, because we harbor deep hatred and resentment towards what are probably descent, good hearted people, that for no reason other than suffocating and overcrowding our already claustrophobic streets, we simply cannot hate. And it is for this reason, we get to at least pick on their super whack sense of fashion.

Let's use our friend pictured above as the prime example of why it's not only painful to deal with our out-of-town friends in presence, but also in vision.  Let's call him Sweet Guy for now.  Sweet Guy will be the official 2008 poster boy for all NYC tourists.  He exemplifies in all aspects, what a tourist should look like. First thing being, confused.  Second thing being, the cross shoulder camera bag for that added feminine touch.  Third, would be carrying two + bags in a single hand to show everyone they've just been shopping and got charged way too much for some lousy, street vendor knockoffs they consider gifts for loved ones back home.  Fourth, would have to be the world renowned black tube socks with low-top kicks.  And finally coming in at number 5 as well as being the top accessory of fashion faulty tourists is the ever so admired, douche-to-the-bag, fanny pack!  Seriously wtf!  He's not just rockin' that shit around his waist, which is by no means, in any way, acceptable.  This guy went the distance to fasten that bad boy underneath the belt loops of his khaki shorts.  Who does that?

For now we'll keep the topic of tourists open.  At the end of the day it's entertainment to see people walking around looking like this and that definitely outweighs having to stop short.